6. The Humble Lifestyle (Titus)


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Free E-mail Bible Study Bible study Humility: Disciple's Guide to a Humble Life

Jean-Francois Millet, detail of 'The Angelus' (1857-59), oil on canvas, 22x26 in, Musee d'Orsay, Paris.
This farming couple pictures a simple piety and the humility basic to the Christian life. Jean-Francois Millet, detail of 'The Angelus' (1857-59), oil on canvas, 22x26 in, e d'Orsay, Paris.

Country and Western crooner Hank Williams, Jr. is known for his drinker's lament:

"All my rowdy friends have settled down...."253

Some of those rowdy friends lived in the streets of Ephesus and Crete and other Mediterranean cities where Paul and his team were winning people to Jesus -- and they hadn't all settled down yet.

Part of becoming a Christian is learning to settle down from our out-of-control wildness where anything goes to living a quieter, humbler life.

Some forms of pride we've considered involve being great in the eyes of others. Here, we're considering the pride of living any wild way we want to.

Going back to the Chair Illustration (Lesson 1.6.4), it means that the "rowdy friends" are still on the throne of their lives instead of Christ.

'Chair Illustration' from the '4 Spiritual Laws,' © 1965-2013, CRU.
'Chair Illustration' from the '4 Spiritual Laws,' © 1965-2013, CRU. Larger image. See Lesson 1.6.4.

Paul commands Titus.

"1 Remind the people to be subject to rulers and authorities, to be obedient, to be ready to do whatever is good, 2 to slander no one, to be peaceable and considerate, and to show true humility254 toward all men." (Titus 3:1-2)

We must humble ourselves before God or he will humble us. Christ must be in charge of our lifestyle.

Q30. (Titus 2:15-3:2) How does living God's way require humbling ourselves before God?
https://www.joyfulheart.com/forums/topic/2300-q30-humble-lifestyle/

Titus's Charge to Teach Godly Living on Crete

Paul and Titus had recently evangelized the Island of Crete. Paul's co-worker Titus is now charged with a big task.

"The reason I left you in Crete was that you might straighten out255 what was left unfinished and appoint elders in every town, as I directed you." (Titus 1:5)

Paul moves on to another field, but leaves Titus on Crete to help mold the new believers into Christians who will be a credit to the name of Christ, so that the Christian cause can advance.

It becomes obvious as you read between the lines of this letter, that it isn't an easy job. The islanders have a reputation for being flagrant liars and "evil brutes" (Titus 1:12). Even some converted from relatively moral Judaism had pretty rough edges (Titus 1:10, 14). And we'll see from references to some of Paul's other letters, that a background of immorality caused problems in churches across the Mediterranean. Paul has given Timothy a similar task in Ephesus.

In Crete, there were some wild256 and undisciplined257 young people in the newly-formed Christian fellowships (Titus 1:6). The youth had learned this behavior from the generation before them. Drunkenness, belligerence, violence, and cheating in business were rampant (Titus 1:7).258 Titus's task is to identify some families that can set an example and provide leadership to the churches, so the Christian families can model a new way of life to the larger community, and so attract people to Christ (Titus 1:5-9).

Sound Doctrine

Paul uses the word "sound doctrine" several times in Titus to describe teaching the Cretan believers basic Christian behavior -- so the non-believers will take notice and be drawn to Christ, "so that in every way they will make the teaching about God our Savior attractive" (Titus 2:10).

"1 You must teach what is in accord with sound doctrine. 2 Teach the older men to be temperate, worthy of respect, self-controlled, and sound in faith, in love and in endurance.

"3 Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good.... 5 to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.

6 Similarly, encourage the young men to be self-controlled. 7 In everything set them an example by doing what is good. In your teaching show integrity, seriousness
8 and soundness of speech that cannot be condemned, so that those who oppose you may be ashamed because they have nothing bad to say about us." (Titus 2:1-3, 5-8).

A few verses later, Paul summarizes what "sound doctrine" consists of.

"15 These, then, are the things you should teach. Encourage and rebuke with all authority. 1 Do not let anyone despise you. Remind the people to be subject to rulers and authorities, to be obedient, to be ready to do whatever is good, 2 to slander no one, to be peaceable and considerate, and to show true humility toward all men." (Titus 2:15-3:2)

"Sound doctrine" for these raw believers is what we might call humble lives that are no longer essentially selfish, but considerate of others.

Remember the character traits that cluster around humility? (Lesson 1.5 and Appendix 5. Character Traits that Cluster around Humility and Pride). Here are some traits mentioned in Titus.


Character traits that cluster around humility. You'll notice that some are grayed out. This is because traits of passivity, non-assertiveness, and servile behavior are sometimes falsely ascribed to humility (Lesson 5.2 and Lesson 6.5). Larger image.
  • Respectful -- - "worthy of respect" (1:5); "kind" (2:5); "seriousness" (2:7); "soundness of speech" (2:8)

  • Patient -- "peaceable" (3:2).
  • God-fearing -- "sound in faith, in love and in endurance" (1:5); "reverent," as opposed to being slanderers and drunks (2:3; 3:2); "integrity" (2:7).
  • Compassionate -- "considerate" (3:2).
  • Generous -- "doing what is good," "good works" (2:7, 14; 3:1, 8, 14).
  • Gentle -- "temperate" (1:5); "self-controlled" (1:5; 2:5, 6); "submissive" (2:5; 3:2); "obedient" (3:1).

Paul concludes his lists of character traits with the catch-all phrase, "and show true humility toward all men" (Titus 3:2).

Let's examine some of these qualities related to humility that Titus must teach.

In one sense, you could look at this lesson and the next as parts 1 and 2 of considering various virtues that are related to humility. In this chapter, however, our focus is on the humble life. In Lesson 7, we'll focus on the virtues important to living in community together, but there is no hard and fast separation between the virtues we examine in Lesson 6 vs. Lesson 7.

6.1 Quiet, Peaceable Lives

We started this lesson talking about "all my rowdy friends." Being rowdy doesn't require alcohol or brawling. You can be rowdy and fight verbally.

Selfish Desires and Fighting (James 4:1-3)

One characteristic of proud men and women is a propensity to fight. Some find real joy in confrontation and in getting the better of the other person. It is fueled by pride, of course. James explores the root of quarreling.

"What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don't they come from your desires that battle within you? 2 You want something but don't get it. You kill and covet, but you cannot have what you want. You quarrel and fight." (James 4:1-2)

Humble people don't pick fights, though they can firmly stand their ground when necessary. (See assertiveness in Lesson 5.2).

Peaceable Lives

There are areas and households in every community where you'll find chaos. Fights are common. There's a lot of loud partying and drinking. Drunken people striking spouses and children. The police need to be called.

I can remember a church member, our worship leader at the time, who got drunk at home and was so threatening that his teenage daughter called the police. When a policewoman tried to settle him down, he slugged her causing a large bruise on her face. Rowdiness.

When Christ comes into our lives, he gradually changes us. Where there has been drunkenness and a lifestyle of getting high, now there is freedom. Where there have been loud confrontations, now there is more peace.

This is what the word "mild" means in terms of humility. Mildness is not being bland and boring, without any remarkable qualities. Mildness is what a quiet, Christian life looks like compared to the wild, drunken, bullying that was going on in Crete every day of the week, and -- in many households -- night after night. Mildness is what we might call, "being respectable." It also refers to an exercise of self-control.

"Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life259...." (1 Thessalonians 4:11)

"... that we may live peaceful[260] and quiet lives in all godliness and holiness." (1 Timothy 2:1-2)

"Now such persons we command and encourage in the Lord Jesus Christ to do their work quietly261 and to earn their own living." (2 Thessalonians 3:12, ESV)

"... to slander no one, to be peaceable262 and considerate,263 and to show true humility264 toward all men." (Titus 3:2)

"17 But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving,265 considerate,266 submissive,267 full of mercy and good fruit, impartial268 and sincere.269 18 Peacemakers who sow in peace raise a harvest of righteousness." (James 3:17-18)

Peace and peacemaking are part of a humble Christian lifestyle.

"Blessed are the peacemakers,
for they will be called sons of God." (Matthew 5:9)

Where more than one person lives in close proximity to others, there will be conflicts. Humans differ. Sometimes we are tempted to avoid any kind of conflict because it is painful, messy, and brings up bad memories. But issues need to be faced and worked through. Nevertheless, in the conflicts of life, you and I are to work for peace.

"If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace270 with everyone.' (Romans 12:18)

This is the way of the humble person.

Q31. (James 4:1-3) How does pride fuel conflict? How do fighting and quarreling prevent a peaceable life? According to James, what is at the root of our fighting? How do we respond to conflict, knowing that peace doesn't depend solely upon us? Since conflict is inevitable, what are some ways we can disagree agreeably, humbly?
https://www.joyfulheart.com/forums/topic/2301-q31-fighting/

6.2 Good Deeds and Generosity towards the Needy

Paul writes to Titus:

"Remind the people ... to be ready to do whatever is good ... and to show true humility toward all men." (Titus 3:1-2)

Good deeds, especially towards the needy, is a core part of humility. It is the fruit of a focus on the needs of others.

Caring for the poor has always been an important part of Judaism. The Pentateuch commands not harvesting one's field to the very edge so that the poor and alien may glean what is left (Leviticus 19:9):

"If there is a poor man among your brothers ... do not be hardhearted or tightfisted toward your poor brother. Rather be openhanded and freely lend him whatever he needs." (Deuteronomy 15:7-8)

"[A true fast is] to share your food with the hungry
and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter--
when you see the naked, to clothe him,
and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood?" (Isaiah 58:7)

Jesus himself encourages generosity and compassionate care, especially towards the needy, such as:

  • The greatest among you is one who serves (Matthew 23:11-12, Lesson 4.1).
  • A cup of cold water for one of these little ones (Matthew 10:42; Lesson 4.4).
  • Care for the hungry, the thirsty, the strangers, the naked, the sick, the imprisoned (Matthew 25:31-46; Lesson 4.5).

Part of humility is a lower focus on self and a higher focus on the needs of others.

In Proverbs we read.

"He who oppresses the poor shows contempt for their Maker,
but whoever is kind to the needy honors God." (Proverbs 14:31)

"He who is kind to the poor lends to the Lord." (Proverbs 19:17)

"A generous man will himself be blessed,
for he shares his food with the poor." (Proverbs 22:9)

The Acts of the Apostles tells about "a disciple named Tabitha ... was always doing good and helping the poor." (Acts 9:36)

Paul instructs the new believers that doing "good works" or "good deeds" is the earmark of the true believer. "Good works" seems so generic that it becomes invisible. What are "good works"? They are deeds done to help others in need. Paul is seeking to develop a whole community of people who constantly help those in need. In a word -- loving. In our day, both the Boy Scouts and Girl Scouts have a slogan: "Do a good turn271 daily." It is the same idea.

We can see this kind of humble generosity in Paul's instruction to Titus to help form humble Christian believers on Crete:

"... A people that are his very own, eager to do what is good." (Titus 2:14)

"Remind the people ... to be ready to do whatever is good ... and to show true humility toward all men." (Titus 3:1-2)

"Devote themselves to doing what is good." (Titus 3:8)

"Our people must learn to devote themselves to doing what is good." (Titus 3:14)

The theme continues throughout Paul's writings.

"We are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works." (Ephesians 2:10)

"Let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers." (Galatians 6:10)

"Share with God's people who are in need." (Romans 12:13)

"... Bearing fruit in every good work." (Colossians 1:10)

"You will abound in every good work." (2 Corinthians 9:8)

"May our Lord Jesus Christ himself and God our Father ...  strengthen you in every good deed and word." (2 Thessalonians 2:16, 17)

James reminds us that good deeds are an essential fruit of our faith in Jesus.

"17 Faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead. 18 But someone will say, 'You have faith; I have deeds.' Show me your faith without deeds, and I will show you my faith by what I do." (James 2:17-18)

Much more could be said,272 but a generosity towards others, especially the needy, is part of a humble life, the "true humility" that Paul is teaching the believers.

Q32. (Ephesians 2:10; Titus 3:1-2; James 2:17-18) How are good deeds related to humility and compassion? What kinds of good deeds were common in the early church? Is it possible to have faith without any fruit of good deeds that demonstrate your faith?
https://www.joyfulheart.com/forums/topic/2302-q32-good-deeds/

6.3 Temperance and Self-Control

Paul's goal is to help these new believers avoid the excesses that have thus far messed up their lives. One part of the humble lifestyle includes what you might call temperance or moderation. Let's look at some of these character traits.

Temperance with Alcohol

As I mentioned, Paul's letters give numerous clues that many of his new converts are not far removed from a pretty wild lifestyle.

"Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery." (Ephesians 5:18a)

"Let us behave decently ... not in orgies and drunkenness...." (Romans 13:13)

Drinking to excess273 seems fairly common in Paul's churches. It is one of the problems that Titus deals with on the island of Crete in both men and women (Titus 2:2-3).

Paul insists that people who are prone to drink too much are not to be in church leadership positions -- nor their wives (1 Timothy 3:1-11; Titus 1:6-9).

"Since an overseer is entrusted with God's work, he must be blameless--not overbearing, not quick-tempered, not given to drunkenness, not violent, not pursuing dishonest gain." (Titus 1:7)

Leaders who struggle with over-imbibing are not the model of the Christian life that can help people in their congregations deal with this problem.

"Teach the older men to be temperate, worthy of respect, self-controlled, and sound in faith, in love and in endurance." (Titus 2:2)

"Temperate" here means "very moderate in the drinking of an alcoholic beverage."274 Paul isn't insisting on abstinence (1 Timothy 5:23), but self-control. This idea of sobriety in drink extends to being well-balanced and self-controlled overall.275

Self-Control

"Self-control" (NIV, ESV, NRSV), is found in several lists of virtues sometimes translated as "prudent" (NRSV) or "sober" (KJV).276 The ancient Greeks considered "self-control," restraint or modesty, as a leading civic virtue. For Aristotle, it was the mean between license and stupidity, an avoidance of extremes. Self-control was a cardinal virtue of Stoicism, and -- by way of Hellenistic Judaism -- influenced the early church. For first-century Jewish Hellenist philosopher Philo, self-control is the mean between frivolity and covetousness and battles against lasciviousness.277

Self-control includes ideas of restraint of impulses and desires, as well as prudence, thoughtfulness guiding our actions. Words translated "self-control" occur often in the epistles where the apostles are seeking to form humble disciples.278 Several of these exhortations are in Titus:

"Teach the older men to be temperate, worthy of respect, self-controlled...." (Titus 2:2)

"Encourage the young men to be self-controlled." (Titus 2:6)

"[An overseer] must be hospitable, one who loves what is good, who is self-controlled, upright, holy and disciplined." (Titus 1:8; cf. 1 Timothy 3:2)

"[The grace of God] teaches us to say 'No' to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age." (Titus 2:12)

"22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness and self-control." (Galatians 5:22-23)

"5 Make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; 6 and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; 7 and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love." (2 Peter 1:5-7)

All Things in Moderation?

You may have heard the saying, "All things in moderation." The saying seems to have roots in the Greek and Roman poets, playwrights, and philosophers.279 But is moderation scriptural? In the King James Version we read,

"Let your moderation (epieikēs) be known unto all men. The Lord is at hand." (Philippians 4:5, KJV)

However, the adjective epieikēs here is better translated as "gentleness" (NIV, NRSV) or "reasonableness" (ESV). The word means, "not insisting on every right of letter of law or custom, yielding, gentle, kind, courteous, tolerant."280 "Self-control" captures the biblical concept better than "moderation."281

We don't want to be moderate in murder or adultery. Or in faithfulness to Jesus. On the other hand:

  • Self-esteem needs to be moderate, not too high, but not too low. Accurate (Galatians 6:1-4).
  • Service to others needs to be moderated by our responsibilities to ourselves, our families, etc., otherwise serving others can burn us out. Jesus stepped back from the public eye with his disciples on occasion to take a break from public ministry.
  • Dress should be moderate (1 Timothy 2:9-10; 1 Peter 3:3-4). Not so showy as to demand attention of others, or so shabby that it says that we don't care about how we look, as we'll see in a moment.

Q33. What is the difference between temperance and abstinence? How can use of alcohol and drugs disrupt the humble life? Why is self-control so important in the Christian life? How does self-control differ from the idea of "moderation in all things"?
https://www.joyfulheart.com/forums/topic/2303-q33-self-control/

Moderate Apparel

How we dress is part of humility. The idea of "self-control" suggests restraint, a kind of modesty.

Excess in dress surfaced long before New Testament times. Through the prophet Isaiah (active 740 to 700 BC), Yahweh chides the wealthy, haughty women of Jerusalem who prance about in their fancy and expensive apparel while crushing the poor in their midst (Isaiah 3:16, see also vss. 17-23)

Now fast-forward 750 years from Jerusalem to the great cities of the Roman Empire, and you see a similar phenomenon. In the house churches of the new Christian community, high class women are flaunting their wealth and style before the largely poor members of the church. (We'll consider the relationship of humility to wealth in Lesson 7.5.). Both Paul and Peter see it as enough of a problem to take it on, since it strikes at the root of humility.

"9 I also want women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety, not with braided hair or gold or pearls or expensive clothes, 10 but with good deeds, appropriate for women who profess to worship God." (1 Timothy 2:9-10)

The idea of "modesty" here, is that of restraint, reserve.282 "Decency" suggests a respect for convention, a sense of honor and self-respect vs. shamelessness.283 "Propriety" suggests ideas of prudence and good judgment, moderation.284

Peter taught.

"3 Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. 4 Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight." (1 Peter 3:3-4)

Peter contrasts outward beauty (which begins to fade as we age) to inner beauty, "the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit" (1 Peter 3:4). The inner person, the inner spirit of a godly woman is described as "gentle" (praus, "gentle, humble, considerate, meek."285). It is also described as "quiet," without rancor and carrying on, "quiet, well-ordered."286

When I was in college, I attended a small Pentecostal church in downtown Los Angeles. The pastor's wife, Helen Stanley, was a plain woman in her early 30s at the time, but when she worshiped with her hands slightly lifted, a beautiful radiance and smile would cover her face. She glowed! Her inner beauty was displayed. It was an amazing transformation.

Both men and women should dress in such a way that it doesn't drown out and overpower the inner beauty that comes from Christ.

We need to be careful, however, in applying 1 Timothy 2:9-10 and 1 Peter 3:3-4 to our situations in the twenty-first century. We can't make a one-for-one application since styles have changed, cost of clothing is much lower, and gold is worn by many married couples, even poor couples, as a sign of their union.

Dress and ornamentation are culturally conditioned. What is appropriate in Central Africa may be different than what is appropriate in London, in suburban towns in the American Midwest, or in beach towns along the Southern California coast.287

We want to present ourselves in the best possible way, of course. We want to wear clothing that fits the occasion, hides our physical flaws to the degree possible, and accentuates the positive. It is not spiritual to be ugly.

The principles we see in these verses teach us that our clothing shouldn't be designed primarily to point to our wealth or flaunt our hipness. Rather we are to dress in a way that projects propriety and decency.288 The real question, of course, is: What is my motive? Is it to represent Christ as an effective emissary or does my motive go beyond that?

6.4 Respect and Honor

I am convinced that respect for others is one of the core qualities of true humility. If we can't see and identify with our common humanity in even the most dissolute people, then we'll look down on them with judgment and be unable to minister with empathy and compassion.

Gentleness and Respect (1 Peter 3:15; 2 Timothy 2:25)

The word "respect" occurs fairly often in the epistles, though it translates several different Greek words.289 Peter explains to us the kind of attitude we need to be able to witness to the unbelievers around us.

"Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness (prautēs) and respect..." (1 Peter 3:15)

The word translated here as "respect" (NIV, ESV), "reverence" (NRSV), "fear" (KJV) is phobos (from which we get words such as "phobia"), "fear." But this usage isn't talking about terror of a person, rather "reverence, respect."290 Paul encourages evangelizing and teaching with humility or "gentleness" also.

"Those who oppose him he must gently (prautēs) instruct, in the hope that God will grant them repentance leading them to a knowledge of the truth. (2 Timothy 2:25)

Both verses share the Greek word prautēs, generally translated as "gently" or "with gentleness" (NIV, NRSV, KJV), or "meekness" (KJV). We've seen this word before: "the quality of not being overly impressed by a sense of one's self-importance, gentleness, humility, courtesy, considerateness, meekness" in the older favorable sense.291

Trying to share our faith with a kind of haughtiness bred by self-righteousness isn't effective, since it doesn't lead with love. We don't get heated and insistent, but we are gentle, courteous, patient with their excuses for not believing.

I've come to realize that when I interrupt someone it is a sign of impatience and disrespect -- and a clear breach of humility. Respect must undergird my speech!

Honoring One Another (Romans 12:10)

If it is true that pride is primarily a self-focused orientation to life, then humility is primarily an other-focused orientation. In Lesson 1.6.4, we saw a similar concept -- considering others' interests more important than our own.

"Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others." (Philippians 2:3-4, NIV)

The following passage is part of Paul's exhortation for the believers in Rome to exhibit true Christian character.

"Be devoted to one another in brotherly love.292 Honor one another above yourselves."293 (Romans 12:10, NIV)

"Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor." (Romans 12:10, ESV)

We've talked about respect for one another. Here Paul tells us to "honor" one another, that is, show esteem, honor, reverence for the other person.294 In other words, show profound respect.

Insults Show Disrespect (1 Peter 3:9)

I want to pause with this verse to consider insults.

"Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult, but with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing." (1 Peter 3:9)

We'll consider the retribution aspect of this verse in Lesson 7.3. For now I want to consider the nature of a deliberate insult. "Insult" (NIV), "reviling" (ESV), "abuse" (NRSV), "railing" (KJV) is loidoria, "speech that is highly insulting, abuse, reproach, reviling."295 We don't insult people we respect. An insult is a deliberate statement or epithet of disrespect.

In America, our political speech has degraded to a gutter level. It is considered perfectly allowable to insult your political opponents, demonize them, and smear them with insults. Shame on us! Our disrespectful political speech is contaminating humble hearts in whom the Father is seeking to form Christ! Respect for others is a key element of humility.

Q34. (1 Peter 3:15; Romans 12:10; 1 Peter 3:9) How is humility related to respect for others? To honoring others? How can we minister to someone for whom we have no respect? In what way does insulting speech trample upon humility? How does interrupting a person show disrespect?
https://www.joyfulheart.com/forums/topic/2304-q34-respect/

6.5 Submission without Servility

Submission to those over us is another aspect of humility. Paul concludes his Letter to Titus with an exhortation to teach submission as part of true humility.

"1 Remind the people to be subject to rulers and authorities, to be obedient, to be ready to do whatever is good, 2 to slander no one, to be peaceable and considerate, and to show true humility toward all men." (Titus 3:1-2)

"Be subject" or "submit yourselves" generally translate hypotassō, "to cause to be in a submissive relationship, to subject, to subordinate."296 It can contain the idea of "obey," but there are other Greek words for obedience itself. As you can see, appropriate submission is part of "true humility" and respect.

"Everyone must submit himself to the governing authorities...." (Romans 13:1)

"Submit yourselves for the Lord's sake to every authority instituted among men: whether to the king, as the supreme authority, or to governors...." (1 Peter 2:13)

"... The authorities are God's servants, who give their full time to governing.  Give everyone what you owe him: If you owe taxes, pay taxes; if revenue, then revenue; if respect, then respect; if honor, then honor." (Romans 13:6-7)

"I urge, then, first of all, that requests, prayers, intercession and thanksgiving be made for everyone -- 2 for kings and all those in authority, that we may live peaceful and quiet lives in all godliness and holiness." (1 Timothy 2:1-2)

Submission isn't a popular topic in Western culture, especially of wives to husbands. We can choose to reject the submission we don't like, but that is likely to get us crossways with God. To be honest with the Scriptures, the apostles consistently teach submission of wives to husbands (Ephesians 5:22-24, 33; Colossians 3:18; 1 Peter 3:2, 7297), children to parents (Ephesians 6:1-3; Colossians 3:20), and slaves to masters (1 Peter 2:18; Ephesians 6:5; Colossians 3:21-25), as well as a kind of mutual submission (Ephesians 5:21). Even within the institution of slavery as it has existed, sadly, for thousands of years, believing masters and slaves are to respect one another298 (1 Timothy 6:1-2).

Peter sums up what a humble lifestyle looks like:

"17 Show proper respect299 to everyone: Love the brotherhood of believers, fear God, honor the king. 18 Slaves, submit yourselves to your masters with all respect not only to those who are good and considerate, but also to those who are harsh." (1 Peter 2:17-18)

Submission That Is Neither Servile nor Slavish

Peter's direction to slaves seems difficult -- and I am sure it was. Some husbands harshly and proudly demand of their wives a kind of slavish submission. Creating an environment of fear to enforce submission isn't godly!

Several English words describe the worst kind of submission:

  • Servile -- "meanly or cravenly submissive; abject."300
  • Abject -- "cast down in spirit; servile, spiritless; showing hopelessness or resignation."301
  • Slavish -- "of or characteristic of someone held in forced servitude, especially, basely or abjectly servile."302

Submission is difficult. Sometimes extremely difficult. But God never intended it to break our spirits. And submission should never be an excuse for abuse and endangerment.

After a verse on slaves submitting to masters, Paul writes:

"23 Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, 24 since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving. 25 Anyone who does wrong will be repaid for his wrong, and there is no favoritism." (Colossians 3:23-25)

Paul is saying to slaves -- and it can be applied to employers and other difficult relationships: Consider your work as "unto the Lord," part of the way you are serving Christ. It is a mindset. An approach. I am serving in this situation as my way of serving you, Jesus, here on earth. Responding as you would help me. Forgiving. Loving. Being faithful. Being honest. Representing you where you've placed me.

And notice verse 25. Those who are harsh and violent, God will judge! God is on your side! Let vengeance be God'; let your heart be free of hatred.

Not an easy way. But God can help us in the worst of circumstances!

Husbands, too, are responsible to God for their actions and have a high standard.

"Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her." (Ephesians 5:25)

"Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers." (1 Peter 3:7)

Disrespect to wives can disrupt your spiritual life, can keep your prayers from being answered.

Husbands, employers, and slave owners, know this: God is watching and will repay.

"Anyone who does wrong will be repaid for his wrong, and there is no favoritism." (Colossians 3:25)

Submission to Church Leaders

Submission to those who are over you is part of the humble life. This is also true of leaders in the church.

"12 Now we ask you, brothers, to respect303 those who work hard304 among you, who are over you in the Lord and who admonish305 you. 13 Hold them in the highest regard306 in love because of their work. Live in peace with each other." (1 Thessalonians 5:12-13)

"The elders who direct the affairs of the church307 well are worthy of double honor,308 especially those whose work309 is preaching and teaching." (1 Timothy 5:17)

Honor is appropriate, since the leader is God's representative! An awesome responsibility! Humility is appropriate and required before God's workers.

Around the world there are various church structures and ways of bringing a pastor to a church. In some groups, a bishop or superintendent selects a pastor for a congregation, sometimes with feedback from the church, sometimes not. In other churches, a body such as a presbytery makes that choice. In other churches, the congregation itself selects a pastor. No matter what system a church functions under, we pray for and seek God's direction.

In no case, do members of a congregation have a right to abuse the pastor -- even a pastor they don't particularly like. Humility and honor are important!

I've pastored churches where some person or a faction in the congregation wants to usurp the leader's authority or discredit the pastor so they can get their way. This is an act of arrogance or pride against God's chosen leader.

The author of Hebrews says:

"Obey310 your leaders311 and submit to their authority.312 They keep watch over313 you as those who must give an account.314 Obey them so that their work will be a joy, not a burden,315 for that would be of no advantage316 to you." (Hebrews 13:17)

This verse suggests that the pastor is responsible to God and will give a regular account of his or her ministry -- no doubt in prayer. The pastor is God's direct agent to watch over this flock.

Q35. (Titus 3:1-2; Colossians 3:23-25). How is appropriate submission related to humility? Why does opposing church leaders so often exhibit pride? When you have to submit to a harsh person, how can you look at it in a way that is spiritual? How can we submit voluntarily in our hearts without being slavishly servile?
https://www.joyfulheart.com/forums/topic/2305-q35-submission/

Submission to God over Man

I hate to bring this up, since it is so often an excuse for proud behavior, but I must.

There is an exception to submission, that is, when God clearly commands us not to obey. We see a few instructive examples of this.

When the Sanhedrin orders the apostles to stop preaching in the name of Jesus, they reply: "We must obey God rather than men!" (Acts 5:29; cf. Acts 4:19).

When Martin Luther is called before the Council of Worms (1521) and told to renounce his heresy, convinced that he is following the Holy Scriptures, he famously replies, ""Here I stand, I cannot do otherwise."

The danger, of course, is that many, many people think they are hearing from God, but mistake the voice of God for their rebellious hearts. The results are many schisms from the unity of faith in the Body of Christ. Be very, very sure it is God, if you place your allegiance to God before your allegiance to human rulers. But if you must, so be it.

Sometimes, wives in an abusive household know they must protect their children from violence rather than submit to a violent husband. God sees all. If you happen to be in this kind of situation, get counsel from your pastor!

6.6 Patience, Forbearance, and Perseverance

As we're considering the humble life, we must focus on three related virtues that orbit around humility -- patience, forbearance, and perseverance.

Patience

"Through patience a ruler can be persuaded,
and a gentle tongue can break a bone." (Proverbs 25:15)

"The end of a matter is better than its beginning,
and patience is better than pride."317 (Ecclesiastes 7:8)

Impatient people often bristle with their own importance and keeping to their personal time schedule. They're centered squarely on themselves and their agenda. People who don't serve them fast enough or to their tastes incur their annoyance. They're impatient. They interrupt others. They tend to flare up in anger.

I know. I've struggled with this. At one time I was the busiest person I knew, church-planting and tent-making. I developed a mentality that got a lot done, but I got stuck in high gear. People need me to slow down and listen to them, care about them more than my list of things to do. That's part of a humble life.

Sometimes I've fallen into a habit of interrupting someone, assuming I know what they're going to say, and wanting to get on with it. How rude! How impatient! How little respect! How little humility! I'm working on it.

Note well that patience is about anger, about how long your frustration fuse is. James says,

"Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, 20 for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires." (James 1:19-20)

In the New Testament, patience318 appears on several lists of virtues. In our flesh, we are quick to dispense with annoyances, but Paul says that patience with each other is essential to unity.

"The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control." (Galatians 5:22-23)

"11 ...Being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience, and joyfully 12 giving thanks to the Father...." (Colossians 1:11-12a)

"Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience." (Colossians 3:12)

"You ... know all about my teaching, my way of life, my purpose, faith, patience, love, endurance...." (2 Timothy 3:10)

"Preach the Word; be prepared in season and out of season; correct, rebuke and encourage--with great patience and careful instruction." (2 Timothy 4:2)

The apostles remind us that God's example of patience towards us has allowed us to exist and not be wiped out before turning to the Lord.

"He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance." (2 Peter 3:9)

Forbearance

Forbearance goes hand in hand with humility on the one side and patience on the other. In Proverbs we find this verse.

"A man's wisdom gives him patience;
it is to his glory319 to overlook320 an offense." (Proverbs 19:11, NIV)

The ESV translation is more literal:

"Good sense makes one slow to anger,
and it is his glory to overlook an offense." (ESV)

If we choose to, we can constantly find provocations in what people say and do around us. And some of the time, at least, we may be correct in our evaluation. But that doesn't mean that calling out every problem is wise. We learn to pick our battles.

Consider a pair of verses from the Prison Epistles.

"Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love." (Ephesians 4:2)

"Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you." (Colossians 3:13)

Both verses employ the Greek noun anechō, "to regard with tolerance, endure, bear with, put up with."321 Why do I have to put up with this? I ask angrily. Because God calls me to it!322 (For the topic of forgiveness, see Lesson 7.3.)

I've found these verses extremely helpful when I am frustrated with my wife. Why does she have to do this? Why does she have to say this using this tone? People have idiosyncrasies and beliefs that aren't always comfortable to be around. We have to decide that for the sake of Christ we will be patient and "put up with" people's differences, just as we take for granted that they should put up with ours. It's a part of the humble life.

Q36. (James 1:19-20; Colossians 3:13) What is the relationship of patience to humility? What in us motivates impatient outbursts? What does it take for God to work in us "long-suffering"? Why is forbearance so vital in a marriage?
https://www.joyfulheart.com/forums/topic/2306-q36-patience/

Perseverance (James 5:7-11)

Patience with people is part of the humble life. But so is patience waiting for Jesus' Second Coming, often translated perseverance or endurance. Consider this passage from James:

"7 Be patient, then, brothers, until the Lord's coming. See how the farmer waits for the land to yield its valuable crop and how patient he is for the autumn and spring rains. 8 You too, be patient323 and stand firm,324 because the Lord's coming is near." (James 5:7-8)

To bolster their patience, James gives the example of a farmer, who patiently waits for the seasons to change, as he knows they will.

9 Don't grumble against each other, brothers, or you will be judged. The Judge is standing at the door!" (James 5:9)

If we're not careful, we can lose patience with our Christian brothers and sisters, and begin to "grumble against each other," that is, "express discontent, complain."325 James is no doubt referring to the grumbling of the people of Israel in the desert. We want water! We need food! It would have been better if we hadn't left Egypt!

A humble follower of Jesus is patient, without second-guessing his or her faith when times get tough. Don't grumble, says James, for "the Judge is standing at the door!" Christ is coming soon to judge the living and the dead. Grumbling and complaining, of course, don't exhibit a humble, forbearing spirit.

Now James continues, pointing to the legendary perseverance of Job.

"10 Brothers, as an example of patience in the face of suffering,326 take the prophets who spoke in the name of the Lord. 11 As you know, we consider blessed those who have persevered. You have heard of Job's perseverance and have seen what the Lord finally brought about. The Lord is full of compassion and mercy." (James 5:10-11)

Verse 10 uses the term makrothymia, "patience," which we've seen in verse 7 and 8. But in verse 11, James uses a different word (hypomonē) that indicates perseverance, steadfastness, endurance -- remaining for as long as it takes.327

Frustration with God

Sometimes we have to endure suffering. It's part of life. But we can take comfort in God's word through Jeremiah:

"For he does not willingly bring affliction
or grief to the children of men." (Lamentations 3:33)

Enduring affliction isn't likely to be God punishing you. No, remember his compassion and mercy and emulate it with humility -- even while you are suffering.

"The Lord is full of compassion and mercy." (James 5:11b)

Humility: Disciple's Guide to a Humble Life, by Ralph F. Wilson
Paperback, PDF, and Kindle formats

The humble life is not easy. The impatient, achievement-oriented world may mock Christian humility. Proud men may laugh out loud when Jesus says that the meek shall inherit the earth. But the humble who have faith, can lock arms with their brothers and sisters, and march forward humbly singing, "We shall overcome ... someday!"

In the end, humility wins out. We've read the last chapter of the Bible. We know that the humble are lifted up in victory. Hallelujah!

Prayer

Father, it is our everyday lives that test our humility and form it -- if we surrender to you day by day. Work in us your peace, a desire to do good to others, self-control, a true respect for others, healthy submission in our hearts, and a patience that can outlast our frustrations. Teach us true humility in our heart of hearts. In Jesus' name, we pray. Amen.

Lessons for Disciples

Learning to live humbly day by day is challenging. Here are some of the lessons.

  1. Living a humble lifestyle that pleases God begins with humbling ourselves before God and letting him set standards for our life.
  2. In Paul's letter to Titus, "sound doctrine" isn't so much theological beliefs but careful instruction about lifestyle and basic Christian behavior.
  3. Quarrelling and fighting are contrary to the quiet peaceable lives we are called to live as peace-loving peacemakers.
  4. Good deeds are at the core of the humble Christian life, and include generosity and acts of kindness, especially to those in need. Indeed, good works are a necessary fruit of faith.
  5. The Bible strongly teaches temperance in the use of alcohol, though not abstinence.
  6. Self-control includes ideas of restraint of impulses and desires, as well as prudence, thoughtfulness guiding our actions.
  7. Self-control includes moderation. But "moderation in all things" isn't really Christian, since we are not to be moderate in our devotion to Jesus, etc.
  8. The Bible teaches moderation in apparel. We're to look our best, but focus on the beauty of the inner person (1 Timothy 2:9-10; 1 Peter 3:3-4).
  9. Respect for others is central to a humble focus on others rather than on self. This is especially important when sharing our faith with those who disagree (1 Peter 3:15; 2 Timothy 2:25). This humility also comes out in honoring others (Romans 12:12). On the other hand, insults show disrespect and lack of love (1 Peter 3:8-9).
  10. Humility includes submission rather than rebellion to those in authority over us, government, in the home setting, as well as slaves to masters (Titus 3:1-2). Submission to harsh people is difficult, but we can endure it if we consider that our work and service is for the Lord ultimately, not for men (Colossians 3:23-25). Submission extends to church leaders (1 Thessalonians 5:12-13; 1 Timothy 5:17; Hebrews 13:17).
  11. Patience with others is related to a sense of importance of self and one's concerns over someone else's importance. Patience means a slowness to frustration and anger (James 1:19-20).
  12. Forbearance specifically involves patiently putting up with the idiosyncrasies and failings of others, and a willingness to forgive them (Colossians 3:13).
  13. Perseverance involves patience and endurance with regard to holding fast until the coming of Jesus Christ at the last day (James 5:7-11).

End Notes

References and Abbreviations

[253] "All My Rowdy Friends" (Have Settled Down), songwriter: Hank Williams Jr. (1981).

[254] "Humility" (NIV), "courtesy" (ESV, NRSV), "meekness" (KJV) is prautēs, "the quality of not being overly impressed by a sense of one's self-importance, gentleness, humility, courtesy, considerateness, meekness" in the older favorable sense (BDAG 861).

[255] "Straighten out" (NIV), "put into order" (ESV, NRSV), "set in order" (KJV) is epidiorthoō, "set right or correct in addition (to what has already been corrected)" (BDAG 371), from epi-, "repetition," + diothroō, "to make straight." Here, "to have deficiencies set right also, complete unfinished reforms" (Liddell-Scott, p. 631).

[256] "Being wild" (NIV), "debauchery" (ESV, NRSV), "riot" (KJV) is asōtia, "reckless abandon, debauchery, dissipation, profligacy," especially exhibited in convivial gatherings (BDAG 148). Also in Ephesians 5:18; 1 Peter 4:4.

[257] "Disobedient" (NIV), "insubordination" (ESV), "rebellious" (NRSV), "unruly" (KJV) is anypotaktos, "pertaining to refusing submission to authority, undisciplined, disobedient, rebellious" (BDAG 91, 2). Also in 1 Timothy 1:9; Titus 1:10.

[258] "Not given to drunkenness" (NIV), "drunkard" (ESV), "addicted/given to wine" (NRSV, KJV) is paroinos, "pertaining to one who is given to drinking too much wine, addicted to wine, drunken" (BDAG 780). Also 1 Timothy 3:3. "Overbearing" (NIV), "arrogant" (ESV, NRSV), "soon angry" (KJV) is authadēs, "self-willed, stubborn, arrogant" (BDAG 150). Also 2 Peter 2:10. "Violent" (NIV, ESV, NRSV), "no striker" (KJV) is plēktēs, "pugnacious person, bully" (BDAG 826). Also at 1 Timothy 3:3. "Pursuing dishonest gain" (NIV), "greedy for gain" (ESV, NRSV), "given to filthy lucre" (KJV) is aischrokerdēs, "shamelessly greedy for money, avaricious, fond of dishonest gain" (BDAG 29). Also 1 Timothy 3:8. 1 Peter 5:2 uses the adverb.

[259] "Lead a quiet life" (NIV), "live quietly" (ESV, NRSV), "be quiet" (KJV) is the verb hēsuchazō, "to live a quiet life or refrain from disturbing activity, be peaceable/orderly" (BDAG 440).

[260] "Peaceful" (NIV, ESV), "peaceable" (NRSV, KJV) is ēremos, "quiet, tranquil" (BDAG 439).

[261] "Settle down" (NIV), "do their work quietly" (ESV, NRSV), "with quietness" (KJV) is the adjective hēsuchia, "state of quietness without disturbance, quietness, rest," here, of living in a way that does not cause disturbance (BDAG 440, 1).

[262] "Peaceable" (NIV), "to avoid quarreling" (ESV, NRSV), "to be not brawlers" (KJV) is the adjective amachos, "peaceable," Titus 3:2 and 1 Timothy 3:3 (BDAG 52); "not contentious" (Thayer 31), a compound word from a-, "not" + machē, "fight, contention, quarrel."

[263] "Considerate" (NIV), "gentle" (ESV, NRSV, KJV) is epieikēs, "not insisting on every right of letter of law or custom, yielding, gentle, kind, courteous, tolerant" (BDAG 371). 1 Timothy 3:3; Titus 3:2; 1 Peter 2:18; James 3:17; Philippians 4:5.

[264] "Humility" (NIV), "courtesy" (ESV, NRSV), "meekness" (KJV) is prautēs, "the quality of not being overly impressed by a sense of one's self-importance, gentleness, humility, courtesy, considerateness, meekness" in the older favorable sense (BDAG 861).

[265] "Peaceable" (ESV, NRSV, KJV), "peace-loving" (NIV) is eirēnikos, "pertaining to being conducive to a harmonious relationship, peaceable, peaceful" (BDAG 288). Also Hebrews 12:11.

[266] Epieikēs, "considerate." Also Hebrews 12:11.

[267] "Submissive" (NIV), "open to reason" (ESV), "willing to yield" (NRSV), "easy to be intreated" (KJV) is eupeithēs, "compliant, obedient" (BDAG 261); "easily obeying, compliant" (Thayer 261), from eu- + peithomai, "to comply with, obey).

[268] "Impartial" (NIV, ESV), "without a trace of partiality" (NRSV), "without partiality" (KJV) is adiakritos, "pertaining to not being judgmental or divisive, nonjudgmental, not divisive, impartial" (BDAG 19, 1). Also James 4:11-12.

[269] "Sincere" (NIV, ESV), "without hypocrisy" (NRSV, KJV) is anypokritos, "pertaining to being without pretense, genuine, sincere," literally, "without play-acting" (BDAG 91). Also Romans 12:9; 2 Corinthians 6:6; 1 Peter 1:22; 1 Timothy 1:5; 2 Timothy 1:5.

270] "Live at peace" (NIV), "live peaceably" (ESV) is eirēneuō, "to be at peace," both "to live in peace" and "to keep the peace" (BDAG 287, 2a and b). Mark 9:50; 1 Thessalonians 5:13; Romans 12:18.

[271] The English noun "turn" can bear the meaning, "an act or deed affecting another, especially when incidental or unexpected" (Merriam-Webster.com Dictionary, noun meaning 3.

[272] Hebrews 13:15-16; 1 John 3:16-18; etc.

[273] Methē, "drunkenness." Romans 13:13; Galatians 5:21, with perhaps the idea of "drinking-bout" (BDAG 625). Methuskō, "get drunk, become intoxicated" (Ephesians 5:18; 1 Thessalonians 5:7) (BDAG 625). Methusos, "drunkard" (1 Corinthians 5:11; 6:10; BDAG 625). Methuō, "to drink to a point of intoxication, be drunk" (1 Thessalonians 5:7; BDAG 625). "Not given to drunkenness" (NIV), "drunkard" (ESV), "addicted/given to wine" (NRSV, KJV) is paroinos, "pertaining to one who is given to drinking too much wine, addicted to wine, drunken" (BDAG 780). Titus 1:7; 2:3; 1 Timothy 3:3.

[274] "Temperate" (NIV), "sober-minded" (ESV), "sober" (KJV) is vēphalios, "pertaining to being very moderate in the drinking of an alcoholic beverage, temperate, sober" (Titus 2:2, 3; 3.2); also more generally, "pertaining to being restrained in conduct, self-controlled, level-headed" (1 Timothy 3:2, 11; Titus 2:2) (BDAG 672, 1).

[275] Nēphō, primarily, 'be sober'; in the New Testament only figurative = "be free from every form of mental and spiritual 'drunkenness', from excess, passion, rashness, confusion, etc. be well-balanced, self-controlled" (BDAG 672). 1 Thessalonians 5:6, 8; 2 Timothy 4:5; 1 Peter 1:13; 4:7; 5:8.

[276] The KJV also translates sōphrosynē, as "of sound mind," "incontinency," "temperance," and "discreet."

[277] This history of the word's usage draws upon Ulrich Luck, sōphrōn, ktl., TDNT 7:1097-1104.

[278] In the New Testament, several words convey this idea. Enkrateia, restraint of one's emotions, impulses, or desires, self-control" (BDAG 274). Acts 24:25; Galatians 5:23; 1 Peter 1:6. Nēphō, primarily, 'be sober'; in the New Testament only figuratively = "be free from every form of mental and spiritual 'drunkenness', from excess, passion, rashness, confusion, etc. be well-balanced, self-controlled" (BDAG 672). 1 Thessalonians 5:6, 8; 1 Peter 1:13; 4:7; 5:8. Sōphrōn, "pertaining to being in control of oneself, prudent, thoughtful, self-controlled" (BDAG 987). Titus 1:8; 2:2, 5; 1 Timothy 3:2. Sōphroneō, to be prudent, with focus on self-control, be reasonable, sensible, serious, keep one's head" (BDAG 986). Titus 2:6; 1 Peter 4:7; Romans 12:3 (twice). Sōphronōs, "pertaining to being prudent, soberly, moderately, showing self-control" (BDAG 987). Titus 2:12 only. Akratēs, "without self-control, dissolute," opposite of enkratēs. (BDAG 38). 2 Timothy 3:3 only. Akrasia, "lack of self-control, self-indulgence" (BDAG 38). 1 Corinthians 7:5 only.

[279] "Observe due measure; moderation is best (metron ariston) in all things." -- Greek poet Hesiod (c. 700 BC). "Nothing in excess." -- Socrates, also an inscription in the Temple of Apollo at Delphi. "Moderation in all things is the best policy." -- Roman comic dramatist Plautus (c. 250-184 BC). "All things in moderation, including moderation" -- attributed to Oscar Wilde, Ralph Waldo Emerson, etc.

[280] Epieikēs, BDAG 371. When you trace this word throughout the New Testament, you see that "moderation" just doesn't capture the flavor of the word. Epieikēs (adjective): 1 Timothy 3:3; Titus 3:2; 1 Peter 2:18; James 3:17. Epieikeia (noun): Acts 24:4; 2 Corinthians 10:1.

[281] The writer of Ecclesiastes suggests avoiding extremes (Ecclesiastes 7:15-18), but other than that, the Bible doesn't suggest avoiding extremes as a goal of life. Paul observes, "Everything is permissible for me -- but not everything is beneficial. Everything is permissible for me -- but I will not be mastered by anything" (1 Corinthians 6:12). But that doesn't really teach moderation as a virtue.

[282] "Modestly" (NIV, NRSV), "respectable apparel" (ESV), "modest apparel" (KJV) is katastolē, "The basic idea is keeping something in check, hence the use of this term in the sense of 'reserve, restraint'" (BDAG 527), with the meaning of "'propriety, ordered conduct,' then 'clothing' (as a visible expression of decorum)" (Karl Heinrich Rengstorf, stéllō, ktl., TDNT 7:588-99).

[283] "Decency" (NIV, cf. NRSV), "modesty" (ESV), "shamefacedness" (KJV) is aidōs. "This term expresses the opposite of considering or treating something in a common or ordinary manner; a respect for convention. Modesty" (BDAG 25, 1). Liddell-Scott (p. 36) says the word expresses "a moral feeling, 'reverence, awe, respect' for the feeling or opinion of others and for one's own conscience, and so 'shame', 'self-respect,' 'sense of honor.'"

[284] "Propriety" (NIV), "suitable clothing" (NRSV), "self-control" (ESV), "sobriety" (KJV), "discreetly" (NASB) is sōphrosynē, "practice of prudence, good judgment, moderation, self-control as exercise of care and intelligence appropriate to circumstances ... decency, chastity" (BDAG 987, 2).

[285] "Gentle" (NIV, ESV, NRSV), "meek" (KJV) is praus, "pertaining to not being overly impressed by a sense of one's self-importance, gentle, humble, considerate, meek" in the older favorable sense (BDAG 861).

[286] "Quiet" is hēsuchios, "quiet, well ordered" (BDAG 440).

[287] Members of the Society of Friends (Quakers) have emphasized "plain dress" for the past 300 years, often including dark colors and lacking adornments like buttons, buckles, lace, or embroidery. It is part of their key principle of simplicity. The Amish use a similar approach, a sort of uniform for both men and women. Tolerance is called for. Along the California coast, men wear shorts and flip-flops to church in the summer -- part of the "come as you are" philosophy of seeker-friendly churches trying to make non-believers feel comfortable. Other congregations stress wearing your best for God when you worship. Let's not judge each other too quickly.

[288] Note: neither Peter nor Paul is dealing with sexually provocative dress, here, but ostentation.

[289] Translated "honor" in the NIV: phobos, "respect" (Romans 13:7 (twice); Ephesians 6:5; 1 Peter 2:18; 3:15); phobeō, "to respect" (Ephesians 5:33); euschēmonōs, "decently, becomingly" (1 Thessalonians 4:12); oida, "know, respect" (1 Thessalonians 5:12); kosimios, "respectable" (1 Timothy 2:9; 3:2); semnotēs, "dignity, seriousness, probity, holiness" (1 Timothy 3:4); semnos, "worthy of respect" (1 Timothy 3:8, 11; Titus 2:2); axios, "worthy of" (honor) (1 Timothy 6:1, 2); 1 Peter 2:17, timaō, "honor" (1 Peter 2:17); timē, "honor" (1 Peter 3:7).

[290] Phobos, This can be reverence for God, but also for humans (BDAG 1062, 2bβ).

[291] Prautēs, BDAG 861.

[292] "Be devoted" (NIV), "love" (ESV, NRSV), "be kindly affectioned" (KJV) is philostorgos, "loving dearly" (BDAG 1059), "used chiefly of the reciprocal tenderness of parents and children" (Thayer, 655). "Brotherly love" (NIV, KJV), "brotherly affection"(ESV), "mutual affection" (NRSV) is philadelphia, "love of brother/sister" (BDAG 1055).

[293] "Above yourselves" (NIV), "outdo one another" (ESV, NRSV), "preferring one another" (KJV) is a bit difficult. The verb proēgeomai means literally, "to go before and show the way." Earlier versions (Italian, Vulgate, Syriac, Armenian) took it as "try to outdo one another in showing respect." Others are an association with hēgeisthai = "consider, esteem" and prefer the sense, "consider better, esteem more highly" (BDAG 869, 3).

[294] "Honor" is timē, "price, value," here, "manifestation of esteem, honor, reverence" -- (active) "the showing of honor, reverence, or respect" as an action. Or (passive) "the respect" that one enjoys, "honor" as a possession (BDAG 10052a and b).

[295] Loidoria, BDAG 602.

[296] Hypotassō, BDAG 1042, 1.

[297] "Considerate" (NIV), "show consideration" (NRSV), "in an understanding way" (ESV), "according to knowledge" (KJV) is two words, kata, "according to," and knōsis, "knowledge," "knowledgeably" (as the context indicates, in awareness of female vulnerability and common Christian hope) (BDAG 203, 1).

[298] "Respect" (NIV), "honor" (ESV, NRSV, KJV) is timē, "manifestation of esteem, honor, reverence" (BDAG 1005, 2a). "Show less respect" (NIV), "disrespectful" (ESV, NRSV), "despise" (KJV) is kataphroneō, "to look down on someone or something with contempt or aversion, with implication that one considers the object of little value, look down on, despise, scorn, treat with contempt" (BDAG 529, 1).

[299] "Show proper respect for" (NIV), "honor" (ESV, NRSV, KJV) is timaō, "to show high regard for, honor, revere" (BDAG 1003, 1).

[300] Merriam-Webster.com Dictionary, meaning 2.

[301] Merriam-Webster.com Dictionary, meanings 2a and 2b.

[302] Merriam-Webster.com Dictionary, meaning 1.

[303] "Respect" (NIV, ESV, NRSV), "know" (KJV) is the verb oida, "know," here, "to recognize merit, respect, honor" (BDAG 694, 6).

[304] "Work hard" (NIV), "labor" (ESV, NRSV, KJV) is kopaiō, "to exert oneself physically, mentally, or spiritually, work hard, toil, strive, struggle" (BDAG 558, 2).

[305] "Admonish" is noutheteō, "to counsel about avoidance or cessation of an improper course of conduct, admonish, warn, instruct" (BDAG 679).

[306] "Hold them in the highest regard" (NIV), "esteem them very highly" (ESV, NRSV, KJV) involves two words, hēgeomai, "think, consider, regard" (BDAG 434, 2); and the adverb hyperekperissou, "quite beyond all measure" (highest form of comparison imaginable) (BDAG 1033).

[307] "Direct the affairs of the church" (NIV), "rule" (ESV, NRSV, KJV) is proistēmi, "to exercise a position of leadership, rule, direct, be at the head (of)" (BDAG 870, 1).

[308] "Honor" is timē, "manifestation of esteem, honor, reverence," probably, "honor conferred through compensation, honorarium, compensation" (BDAG 1005, 2, 3).

[309] "Work" (NIV), "labor" (ESV, NRSV, KJV) is kopiaō, work hard, toil" (BDAG 558, 2).

[310] "Obey" is peithō, "to be won over as the result of persuasion," here, "obey, follow" (BDAG 792, 3b).

[311] "Leaders" (NIV, ESV, NRSV), "them that have the rule over you" (KJV) is the present participle of hēgeomai, of persons in any leading position, "to be in a supervisory capacity, lead, guide" (BDAG 434, 1).

[312] "Submit to authority" (NIVI), "submit" (ESV, NRSV, KJV) is hypeikō, "withdraw, give way to," here, "to yield to someone's authority, yield, give way, submit," used only here in the New Testament (BDAG 1030).

[313] "Keep/ing watch" (NIV, ESV, NRSV), "watch" (KJV) is agrupneō, literally, "to keep oneself awake," here, "to be alertly concerned about, look after, care for" (BDAG 16, 2).

[314] "Give an account" is two words, the verb apodidōmi, "to meet a contractual or other obligation, pay, pay out, fulfill" (BDAG 109, 2c); and the noun logos, "word," here, "computation, reckoning," a formal accounting, especially of one's actions, "account, accounts, reckoning" (BDAG 600, 2a).

[315] "Burden" (NIV), "not with groaning/sighing" (ESV, NRSV), "grief" (KJV) is the participle of stenazō, "sign, groan" (BDAG 942, 1).

[316] "Of no advantage" (NIV, ESV), "harmful" (NRSV), "unprofitable" (KJV) is the adjective alusitelēs, "unprofitable" (BDAG 48). By litotes, "hurtful, pernicious" (Thayer 29).

[317] "Patience" (NIV), "patient" (ESV, NRSV, KJV) is ʾārēk, "long" (TWOT #162b). "Pride" is gābōah, "high, exalted" (TWOT #305a).

[318] "Patience" (NIV, ESV, NRSV), "longsuffering" (KJV) is makrothymia, is a compound word from makro, "long, large, great" + thymos, "passion.," means here, "the "state of being able to bear up under provocation, forbearance, patience" (BDAG 612, 2a).

[319] "Glory" is tipʾārâ, "beauty, glory, pride," from pāʾar, "glorify, beautify, adorn" (TWOT #1726b).

[320] "Overlook" (NIV, ESV, NRSV), "pass by" (KJV) is the Qal infinitive of ʿābar, "pass from one side to another," here, "pass by someone or something" (Holladay, p. 263, Qal 3).

[321] Anechō, BDAG 78.

[322] Of course, occasionally there is a time to sever ties, in the case of danger, etc. But I'm talking about the normal kinds of behaviors here.

[323] "Be patient" is makrothymeō, "to remain tranquil while waiting, have patience, wait" (BDAG 612, 1), from makros, "long," + thymos, "passion," hence, the KJV translation of the noun "longsuffering."

[324] "Stand firm" (NIV) is literally "strengthen your hearts" (NRSV) or "establish your hearts" (ESV, cf. KJV). The verb is stērizō, literally, "to set firmly in a place, set up, establish, support," then figuratively, "to cause to be inwardly firm or committed, confirm, establish, strengthen" (BDAG 945, 2).

[325] Stenazō, BDAG 942, 2.

[326] "Suffering" (NIV, ESV, NRSV), "suffering affliction" (KJV) is kakopathia, "suffering," here probably the active meaning, "suffering" that a person endures, "a strenuous effort" that one makes, or "perseverance that one practices" (BDAG 500). From kakia, "evil, trouble" + paschō, "to suffer." Only here in the New Testament.

[327] "Persevered" (NIV), "remained steadfast" (ESV), "showed endurance" (NRSV), "endure" is hypomenō, "to maintain a belief or course of action in the face of opposition, stand one's ground, hold out, endure" (BDAG 1039, 2). "Perseverance" (NIV), "steadfastness" (ESV), "endurance" (NRSV), "patience" (KJV) is hypomonē, "the capacity to hold out or bear up in the face of difficulty, patience, endurance, fortitude, steadfastness, perseverance" (BDAG 1039, 1).

Humility: Disciple's Guide to a Humble Life

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